Today is Father’s Day and unlike Mother’s Day it is celebrated on the same day the world over. For those of us who no longer have our dad in our life this is a difficult day.
I have amazing memories of my dad. He was kind and thoughtful. Intelligent and resourceful. But also annoying and sometimes embarrassing. Dad could turn his hand to anything, he took nothing at face value and spent a lot of time investigating and finding stuff out. He was an electrician by trade and I still miss being able to call him over to install things. But his skills were much wider and nothing tended to faze him.
My mum is a strong character but. useless at practical details. She is also lazy. How lazy didn’t become apparent until dad was no longer around. She has managed remarkably well considering just how much it turns out he did for her. But I guess that’s another topic, what is clear is that in some ways he did her no favours by being prepared to turn his hand to just about anything. Except cooking perhaps. He may have been the worst cook ever. He even handed over the barbecue to me if he got the chance!
It’s nearly 7 years since dad died. His final couple of years were difficult, but he got through with humour and pragmatism. He and I grew closer than we had for years because he felt able to confide in me about difficult issues. After all Cancer is something you can talk to a nurse about. The pain overwhelmed him at times and eventually we came to a decision together that the treatment should stop. I helped him have conversations with my mum and brothers about what would happen. The end was hard, but I am proud I could be there for him.
Today though it isn’t those final days that I’m thinking of. But the fun and happy times. His generosity, inquisitiveness, his down right bloody mindedness. I have taken a lot from my dad and my memories of him will last for as long as I do.